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Kickass Senior Citizen of the Day

Granite Stater Rachel Gilbert, a diehard NASCAR fan who hasn’t driven a motor vehicle in over 15 years, got to live out a dream by taking a racecar for a spin around the New Hampshire Motor Speedway.

Oh, did I mention Gilbert just turned 100? “I can’t make up my mind that I’m here, really, at 100 years old,” the speedy centenarian told WMUR.

In addition to the laps, the track and representatives from Online Casino India (https://online-casino-india.in/) presented her with VIP tickets to the July Sprint Cup, and even scored her an autographed shirt signed by her favorite driver, Carl Edwards.

Important Internet Milestone of the Day

It’s official: Rick Perry’s homophobic campaign ad has more dislikes than Rebecca Black’s “Friday” (embiggen), making it the most hated video in YouTube history.

Congrats, Rick. No one has ever deserved anything more than you deserve this.

That’ll Do of the Day

Refusing to be defined by his deformity, a boar born without hind legs in China’s eastern Anhui Province learned to walk on his front trotters.

“It took lots of time and devotion,” said owner Ge Xinping. “But now all villagers love him as it walks like an upside down gymnast.”

Incredible Invention of the Day

“Crumbs left over from an Oreo package should never go to waste,” say Miami Ad School students Michael Malz, Jacob Gale, Kelly Saucier, and Michael Grosso. “Oreo Crumb Case is a ‘tea bag’ enclosure for Oreo crumbs that will infuse your milk with Oreo flavor. After all, Oreo is milk’s favorite cookie.”

It’s… it’s beautiful.

[aotw / superpunch.]

They Don’t Shoot Bullies of the Day

Jennifer McKendrick (AKA Jen McKen), a self-employed photographer from Pennsylvania, recently came across a Facebook page created by a number of teenage girls as a sort of “Burn Book” for the purposes of “say[ing] mean and hurtful things about their class mates.”

“It was beyond ‘your clothes are ugly’ or ‘you don’t have any brand clothes’ or ‘you are ugly, your hair is not right,” she told 6 News. “It was vicious. It was talking about sexuality.”

McKendrick recognized some of these girls as clients who had senior picture photoshoots scheduled with her. She promptly sent those girls (and their parents) an email letting them know that she will not be able to proceed with the sessions.

“[H]ow I could spend 2 hours with someone during our session trying to take beautiful photos of them knowing they could do such UGLY things,” she wrote on her blog. “Realistically, I know by canceling their shoots it’s not going to make them ‘nicer people’ but I refuse to let people like that represent my business.”

McKendrick says she’s received emails back from two of the girls’ parents, expressing shock at their daughters’ actions and apologizing for their behavior. “So far I haven’t received any backlash but I’m ready for it,” says McKen, who understands that this decision may affect her business.

But her new policy stands, cemented with a powerful motto: “If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside.”

This x That of the Day

This x That:

Know This:

  • RIP: Rudolf Brazda, last surviving “pink triangle” prisoner, dead at 98. Also: Grease actress Annette Charles, at 63. And: Author Leslie Esdaile Banks, at 51.

Read This:

Look At This:

The Other:

Simpsons Did It of the Day

Earlier today, J. C. Penney was making money off a long-sleeve shirt marketed to girls aged 7 to 16, which proudly announced to the world that its female wearer was too busy being pretty and listening to Justin Bieber to do homework like a boy.

After the Internet got involved, however, J.C. Penney quickly pulled the offending apparel and apologized with this statement:

J.C. Penney is committed to being America’s destination for great style and great value for the whole family. We agree that the “Too pretty” t-shirt does not deliver an appropriate message, and we have immediately discontinued its sale. Our merchandise is intended to appeal to a broad customer base, not to offend them. We would like to apologize to our customers and are taking action to ensure that we continue to uphold the integrity of our merchandise that they have come to expect.

The outrage, however, hasn’t been as quick to die down, with disgruntled JC Penney patrons continuing to take to the retailer’s Facebook page to express their dismay.

Laughing To Keep From Crying of the Day

Comedian Eugene Mirman (of Delocated/Bob’s Burgers fame) reads aloud a full page ad he recently ran in New York Press and elsewhere excoriating Time Warner Cable for being the worst.

Funtivity: Replace “Time Warner Cable” with the cable company of your choice and the crux of his message magically remains relevant.

Background starts @ 3:13; letter recital starts @ 4:38.