This x That

This x That:

Know This:

  • Woman who says she was raped by Gadhafi forces flees Libya.
  • RIP: Dana Wynter, Invasion of the Body Snatchers actress, dead at 79; playwright Doric Wilson, at 72; actress Sada Thompson, at 81; playboy Gunter Sachs, at 78.

Read This:

  • Time zone change will separate Samoa and American Samoa by a whole day.

Look At / Listen To This:

  • First Listen: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s The Book Of Mormon, original cast recording.
  • Republican Rep. Aaron Schock exposes his torso to the public — on purpose.

The Other:

So This Happened of the Day: Can you smell it?

So This Happened of the Day: Can you smell it? Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is officially back at WWE after seven years away, making his triumphant return on last night’s Raw, where he announced that the rumors were true — he will in fact be hosting Wrestlemania 27.

“I am back in this ring…[and] I am never ever going away.”

“CAN YOU SMELL IT?”

LEGIT CHILLS, YOU GUYS. My 12 year old self is weeping.

UPDATE: And here was his dramatic entrance…

Rhetorical Question of the Day

Testifying at yesterday’s hearing on a proposed same-sex marriage ban, Minnesota state Rep. Steve Simon (DFL-Hopkins/St. Louis Park) asked his colleagues to ponder the possibility that God may just be A-OK with gay people. “How many more gay people does God have to create,” Simon inquired, “before we ask ourselves whether or not God actually wants them around?”

Sadly, Rep. Simon’s words fell on deaf ears, and the House Civil Law Committee voted 10-7 along party lines to move the bill forward.

Meanwhile, In West Virginia of the Day

A self-described “hillbilly” celebrates Osama bin Laden’s death by riding around in an ATV shouting “USA!” while waving a flag and shooting a gun.

This is why we can’t have nice global public opinion poll figures.

Kickass Senior Citizen of the Day

Granite Stater Rachel Gilbert, a diehard NASCAR fan who hasn’t driven a motor vehicle in over 15 years, got to live out a dream by taking a racecar for a spin around the New Hampshire Motor Speedway.

Oh, did I mention Gilbert just turned 100? “I can’t make up my mind that I’m here, really, at 100 years old,” the speedy centenarian told WMUR.

In addition to the laps, the track presented her with VIP tickets to the July Sprint Cup, and even scored her an autographed shirt signed by her favorite driver, Carl Edwards.

Movie Trailer of the Day

First official trailer for Jesse Peretz’s Sundace-screened dramedy Our Idiot Brother.

The film, which stars Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Rashida Jones, and Steve Coogan, is scheduled to hit theaters August 26.

Secret Passage of the Day

McMills Construction approached Beausoleil Architects for help installing a garage in the bottom floor of a property on Oak Street in San Francisco’s Upper Haight district in order to maximize the tenant’s rent.

By hiding the space behind a retractable facade indistinguishable from the rest of the historic Victorian apartment house, they were able to avoid running afoul of the city planning department strict appearance codes.

Check out the “garage door” in action below:

End Of An Era? of the Day: FBI Folds Online Poker

The domains of online poker’s three largest sites — PokerStarsFull Tilt Poker, and Absolute Poker — were seized today by the FBI in what the LA Times calls a potential “death blow to the thriving industry.”

In addition, eleven of the sites’ executives were indicted on charges of bank fraud, money laundering, and other violations of a 2006 anti online gambling law passed by Congress. Two executives have been arrested, while a manhunt is underway for the rest.

“These defendants concocted an elaborate criminal fraud scheme, alternately tricking some U.S. banks and effectively bribing others to assure the continued flow of billions in illegal gambling profits,” said US attorney Preet Bharara in a statement.

No word yet on what will become of the massive amounts of money presently stored in users’ accounts.

UPDATE: As of 5:30PM EST, two of the sites appear to be online, though reports are emerging that American users are being turned away from cash tables.

This Changes Everything of the Day

Who knew Rebecca Black’s “Friday” was actually a song about the JFK assassination? The government knew, man. The government knew.

(inb4 “Friday” isn’t actually a song about the JFK assassination.)

Source: sonicbloom

Late Links

Late Links:

New Music of the Day

The Lonely Island – “Turtleneck & Chain” (feat. Snoop Dogg)

Title track off the dudes’ upcoming Incredibad follow-up, due to drop May 10 via Universal Republic.

Snappy Answer of the Day

Noticiero Univision anchor Jorge Ramos asks President Obama if he has his own computer, receives the only possible response.

Infographic of the Day

Don’t mind me, I’m just dropping this off and then I’ll be on my way. I hope that’s not a problem.

Lights Out

Whatever hope I may have yet harbored for humanity’s viability after viewing Rachael Sequoia’s air-headed VC pitch was unceremoniously squelched by the “Forts & The Inbetween” project.

See Also: Cody Johnston’s alternate ending.

UPDATE: Not entirely sure if this was a joke that went too far, but the video was removed from Vimeo and the Kickstarter funding request was canceled. Either way, good.

End Of An Era of the Day

Following Gilbert Gottfried’s series of ill-conceived tweetspoking fun at the devastation in Japan, Aflac informed the comedian, who has voiced the Aflac Duck for over a decade, that his services would no longer be required.

“Gilbert’s recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac,” the company said in an official statement. “Aflac will immediately set plans in motion to conduct a nationwide casting call to find a new voice of the iconic Aflac Duck.”