Everybody Needs A Hobby of the Day: German unicyclist Lutz Eichholz is the proud owner of a new world record for longest unicycle ride along a row of beer bottles.
“I feel really good, all the pressure is down, and I’m happy,” said Eichholz. “The sun is shining; everything is perfect.”
Bad Lip Reading of the Day: The YouTuber/s responsible for helping Governor Rick Perry finally make some sense have applied their poor lip reading skills to President Obama’s debt deal fireside.
Things go as well as can be expected purple monkey dishwasher.
Movie Trailer of the Day: First official trailer for the Eric Roth-penned, Stephen Daldry-helmed big-screen adaptation of Jonathan Safran Foer’s 9/11-inspired novel, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
The Oskar Oscar shoo-in, which stars Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis, John Goodman, Jeffrey Wright, James Gandolfini, and (2010 Jeopardy! Kids Week winner) Thomas Horn, is set for release December 25.
[deadline.]
Bad Joke of the Day: Hahahaha! Wait… I don’t get it.
Neither did a lot of other people, some of whom thought The Onion‘s Twitter account might have been hacked.
It seems the satirical periodical was attempting to reference a new piece just posted to its site. A follow-up Tweet made the whole thing clearer, but the Capitol Police still felt the need to issue a statement denying The Onion‘s report.
“It has come to our attention that recent twitter feeds are reporting false information concerning current conditions at the U.S. Capitol,” said Sgt. Kimberly Schneider in the statement. “Conditions at the U.S. Capitol are currently normal. There is no credibility to these stories or the twitter feeds. The U.S. Capitol Police are currently investigating the reporting.”
Oops.
Not The Onion: “The Onion reports a fake emergency in the Capitol building, the Capitol Police get really pissed.”
Freebies of the Day: Happy International Coffee Day AKA National Coffee Day AKA Coffee Day AKA Every Day!
Seriously though, today is September 29th, which was officially designated International Coffee Day by someone. What does this mean? Free coffee! And lots of it.
The semi-official National Coffee Day has compiled a list of (nearly) all participating businesses (they missed Caribou, which is offering BOGO all day long).
Sadly, despite rumors of a discount, it seems Dunkin’ Donuts is not participating this year. Neither are Starbucks and Tim Hortons.
Asking me to pay for coffee on day dedicated to free coffee that I just found out about? Well, I guess we know who hates America.
[ncd.]
[image: reddit.]
Morning Fluff: YouTuber ggd222 says: “CHIPPY WAS PLAYING AROUND AND DECIDED TO SLUMBER. OH YES, HE IS ALIVE, BUT VERY EXHAUSTED FROM PLAYING HARD ALL DAY.”
SLEEP TIGHT, CHIPPY.
[sayomg.]
Early Bird Special: Sofia “Sof Strait” Romero of Leicester is a hospital worker by day, an escape artist by later that same day. Watch her set a new Guinness World Records-certified record for fastest escape from a straitjacket.
(Actual escape starts around 3:30.)
[dpaf.]
Lights Out: Bad: You’re so drunk the floor is spinning. Worse: The floor is actually spinning.
[buzzfeed.]
